What doesn’t kill you makes you… wiser.

You never know where life might take you. Some events are so random, unexpected and weird, that there’s no way to foresee or prepare for them. They usually occur out of nowhere and leave you with your mouth wide open, but also with the new knowledge and experience, that can change your point of view or even style of life.

Such things happen, when we least expect them. Sneak up on us. Put us in a position of a victim without our permission and often require the strong decision making at the same time. But I do believe, that the more intense the experience is, the stronger we become as a result of it.

I had an unexpected surgery after just a week of a plain stomach ache. Nothing has ever indicated that I might have been growing a 10 cm mass inside of me, but turned out I have. It is quite remarkable, how completely your body can be changed overnight, even if the only thing they’re doing is cutting of something that should not be there in a first place. All the things that you could do before, the normal things – like getting up, lying down, walking by yourself – after a surgery you can only dream about them. A complete incompetence of your body is so frustrating that you wake up and go to sleep with the same single thought: “I want it to be over”. On different stages this phrase may mean slightly different “overs”.

But to the point. We never know, what may happen to us. Life is unexpected. The important thing is to be ready for any possibility – both mentally and physically. But how to be prepared, when you have no idea what will come to get you? How to equip yourself with the tools and knowledge to overcome the unknown?

The answer is simple: self-discipline. Unfortunately this is not something you can gain overnight. It requires an effort to build your discipline and it has to be done regularly, even if your enthusiasm and motivation are low. So if you haven’t started building yours yet – now is the time to do it.

These are not the big things that require a lot of time from you. The recommendation from scientific research is to go small at first. 2-3 minutes of sitting straight during any point of the day. Drinking a glass of water and doing few physical exercises right after you get up. 5-10 minutes of reading, watching or listening to something that develops and interest you. Thinking about 3 things you’re grateful for by the end of the day.

It’s all very doable and doesn’t take much of your time, but it has to be done on a regular basis (daily is the most efficient way). The best way to achieve that is to monitor your progress - write down each “self-discipline building” activity and mark them down as “completed” or “not achieved” every day. This technique might seem silly, but it’s actually one of the most powerful tools for discipline building according to science.

What are the benefits of self-discipline? There are plenty. It gives you the sense of purpose and builds the habits, that you can rely on for the rest of your life. Makes you consistently free and independent from your own limitations and inhibitions. 

The good habits influence your life in a way that all other (involuntary) habits do – they become a part of you. They build your strength, self-confidence and self-awareness. And in case of an unexpected emergency they will not allow you to fall into pieces, because you will want to get back to them as soon as possible.

Discipline is freedom.

“The Anticipation Of The Future Is More Intense Than The Future Itself”
Benjamin Hardy

Excitement and fear. Two most powerful anticipation feelings in a world. Both able to build and destroy, both can be motivating and discouraging, both are being used as tools to drive or stop the world.

When we were kids excitement and fear was rather in balance. We didn’t know so many things and were afraid of them coming to our lives (we also had the common, well known fears of monsters under the bed and “what will mom/dad/teacher say to that”), but at the same time we were constantly excited of not only what we knew was good, but also about the unknown entertainments.

Adults tend to experience fear more often than excitement – both in “motivating” other people as well as driving/stopping themselves. Living in fear of doing or not doing something becomes a person’s way to live and we all know, that a man can get used to anything, so after a while he may not even notice, that his whole life is about living in fear.

Excitement, good vibrations, positive anticipation – these are a bit underrated in the adult life and there’s a reason for that. The older we get, the less things amaze us, because gradually we feel like we know and have already seen everything. We tend to ignore the small blessings in our lives, because they are not new. They’re not inspiring. We only focus on the unknown excitements, the things we’re afraid of and uncertainty of our own future. At the same time we often forget about the things that we already have – the joys of life as we know it, our small victories and achievements, simple being with people we love and cherish, the fact that we can have so many things that our parents couldn’t dream of (and our grandparents wouldn’t even know there’s a thing to dream about). We take things we know for granted and we don’t use them as our drivers, because we underestimate them. We forget how much we can do, how far we can go and how beautiful is life filled with positive excitement.

This simple truth is really worth to be reminded from time to time, as the world is full of options and each of them can be exciting in an own unique way. Excitement is one of the keys to a well-balanced life. It keeps us going and motivates to move forward. And it feels so good :)

“Wherever you are, make sure you’re there.” 

 Dan Sullivan

 

It’s been a while since I wrote anything. Vacation makes a person lazy as hell. For 2 weeks I was getting up at 8:00 or 9:00 (can you imagine a breakfast in the hotel that is only served until 9:30?? Disgrace!), reading belles-letters just for the enjoyment of reading, lying on a beach, swimming with sea turtles and picking up mushrooms in the forest. On top of that trying to not think about work at all. In my humble opinion this is what makes a great holiday.

During vacation I was thinking a lot about where I’m going with my life. How whatever I’m doing now will impact my future self. What shall I do in the nearest months or years to fulfill my destiny (or just make the life I live worth living)? Unfortunately there was no groundbreaking discovery or spontaneous enlightenment in this department. Not even the small catharsis. But I did have some thoughts about life. And I'd like to share them here.

Although it’s really hard to predict the actual outcomes of the current actions, basing on the life experience and common knowledge one thing seems to be very likely. Today’s problems will probably mean nothing in the future. Today’s doubts will only make us laugh in 10 years. Whatever we fear or despise today, we might actually enjoy 2 years from now. What is enjoyable at this moment, might appear overwhelming or boring in 5 years’ time.

My friend once told me a story about how much she wanted to go kayaking as a teenager. It was her big dream, she was thinking and reading about it a lot and never really tried it back then, because of the usual teenage reasons. The years have passed and one day she had a chance to try. She got excited (it was THE DREAM!), went on the kayaking trip and… didn’t enjoy it. Turned out it was not her dream anymore and she couldn’t find the excitement from the past in herself.

Life is a constant change. We never know what the future will bring, but there is a great chance, that we will feel completely different about the same thing today, when we just imagine it and in the future, when it will actually happen. Personal conclusion? Carpe diem. We live in the now and now is what really matters. Our future self will most probably not care much about what we’re doing at this particular moment – they will have their own “now” to take care of.