10 Key Takeaways from the “Awareness” by Anthony de Mello

“Life is about rejecting the obstacles and immersing into the now.”

Anthony de Mello

 

1. Accept everything you cannot influence. Even if something doesn’t seem reasonable or just – the only way to get passed it is to accept it’s occurrence and move on.

2.   Needing someone or something creates attachment. Attachment is believing that you can’t be happy if you don’t own a certain thing or person. Such thinking makes you miserable, because you either desire to have it or are afraid to lose it. The key is to detach from everything and everyone, as independence is the only way to get rid of loneliness for good.

3.   First you need to die (metaphorically!). Meditate on your own death every day. Get used to the fact that you will in fact die someday. Imagine your dead body and be in peace with the very fact of the possibility. Familiarize yourself with the idea of dying and you will never be afraid of death again.

4.   Get rid of your ego.

-       When they say you’re great – accept it, but don’t feel better because of it.

-       When they hurt you – accept it and move on, don’t feel sorry for yourself.

-       When you accomplish something – accept it and don’t brag about it.

-       When you fail – accept it and learn from it.

5.   Whatever someone says about you, it’s just their opinion that does not define you as a person. Listen, accept and move on.

6.   Focus on good things in life. Do the job because you love doing it, laugh and be with friends because you love laughing and being with them, engage with things that interest you and immerse in them fully. Don’t seek for praise or award for what you did.

7.   Realize that you have been programmed in certain ways and look beyond those programs. See the things as they are, not as you were told they were. Honors, wins, prestige and power – they are all an illusion.

8.   Learn to observe the objects and people with no judgement, but only being aware that they are there. Don’t think about their names, usefulness or purpose – accept and be aware of their reality. Go back to nature – observe the trees, flowers, animals and stars in silence. Look at them as you were seeing them for the first time in your life.

9.   You don’t need to belong anywhere. You don’t need to be “in love”. What your nature needs is to be free and to love truly with all your heart.

10. True love does not contain fear. Where is true love there’s no place for demands, expectations and dependency. Your happiness does not depend on anyone and anything else but you. Life is a symphony that plays constantly – differently when you’re alone and when you’re with other people, but it never really stops playing. 

 And in all of these...

Awareness, awareness and most of all – awareness. 

Wake up and be aware!

“The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it.” Marcus Aurelius

Our lives consist of 2 types of events:

• The ones that happen to us
• The ones we make on our own

We can only control the latter (and even that not always & usually not in full). What we can control is our reactions to both. It is how we react on the events what we really need to control in order to be in charge of our own lives.

I recently got Keratoconjunctivitis, which in more human language is an inflammation of the cornea and conjunctiva (basically the whole eye is infected). This condition might be caused by a number of reasons – in my case it’s most likely a seasonal allergy which influenced the soft lenses that I’m wearing on daily basis. The diagnosis for me was one of my worst nightmares: for some time (at least 3 months) I cannot wear soft lenses. This means I had to very quickly buy the glasses, which I’ve resented my whole life. A lot of anger and internal mutiny was involved in this purchase, but I couldn’t afford to not see anything for several months, so here they are – new, bright and shiny. I’m still coming around to the fact, that I have to wear them on my face all the time. If feels like I was wearing the sunglasses that don’t serve its purpose. They irritate me, make me angry and uncomfortable, they keep me away from volleyball practices. Plus, not as important, but still valid to me - I really don’t like how I look right now. 

Are these feelings and reactions helping me anyhow? Will they make my recovery faster? Do I want to feel like this for the next month or maybe the rest of my life?

The answer to all of these questions is NO. I don’t want to feel like this. And the most amazing thing is, that I don’t have to. I can CHOOSE to feel differently about my reactions to this or any other event in my life. But it’s really hard to change a strong mindset and make peace with the difficult personal situation. 

In such moments I always try to think what Pollyanna would say. You know Pollyanna and her Glad Game? Pollyanna is a fictional eleven-year-old orphan from the book written by Eleanor H. Porter. After her only parent dies, she has to move and live with her wealthy but cold Aunt Polly, who does not want to take her niece in, but feels it is her duty to her late sister. Pollyanna's philosophy of life centers on what she calls "The Glad Game," an optimistic and positive attitude she learned from her father. The game consists of finding something to be glad about in every situation, no matter how bad or difficult it may be.

Here is a quote from the book, that describes this approach perfectly:

(…) we began it on some crutches that came in a missionary barrel."

"CRUTCHES!"

"Yes. You see I'd wanted a doll, and father had written them so; but when the barrel came the lady wrote that there hadn't any dolls come in, but the little crutches had. So she sent 'em along as they might come in handy for some child, sometime. And that's when we began it."

"Well, I must say I can't see any game about that" declared Nancy, almost irritably.

"Oh, yes; the game was to just find something about everything to be glad about, no matter what 'twas," rejoined Pollyanna, earnestly. "And we began right then on the crutches."

"Well, goodness me! I can't see anythin' ter be glad about gettin' a pair of crutches when you wanted a doll!" Pollyanna clapped her hands.

"There is, there is!" she crowed. "But I couldn't see it, either, Nancy, at first," she added, with quick honesty. "Father had to tell it to me."

"Well, then, suppose YOU tell ME," almost snapped Nancy.

"Goosey! Why, just be glad because you don't NEED 'EM!" exulted Pollyanna, triumphantly. "You see it's just as easy when you know how!

So here it is. She told me and I’m telling you. I’m glad, that if all goes well I won’t need to wear my glasses permanently. And that I have not been blinded by the disease. That I actually have a way to see clearly. And that I could afford the glasses in a first place. 

Also, I’m glad about being alive. That’s always a good one to be glad about. 

“Fire Destruction is One Man’s job,
Fire Prevention is Everybody’s job.”

We don’t think of fire in our daily lives a lot. When we see or start a fire it’s usually on candles, kitchen stoves and sometimes (for the lucky ones) in nice and cozy fireplaces. We don’t think of fire as a threat, because the one we normally see is contained and beautiful.

But what about the accidental fire? The one that is not contained and slips out of control? We don’t take it much under consideration. And that’s where we make a mistake. 
The National Fire Protection Association (NFPA) reports that there were 499,000 structure fires in 2017, and this is in US alone. It’s difficult to gather data on the numbers worldwide, but if you’re interested in more detailed statistics, you can refer to this report.

Just to give you some wider perspective. “In 2017, on average, a fire department responded to a fire every 24 seconds in the United States (…). A structure fire occurred every 63 seconds, a home fire (…) every 88 seconds, and an outside property fire (…) every 51 seconds. Fires occurred in highway-type vehicles every 3 minutes and 8 seconds”

Many of the fire accidents are happening of natural causes. The climate changes rapidly, which causes a lot of wildfires around the globe and this is something that needs to be handled by well-prepared services of highly skilled and trained people. But no one is able respond to the fire situations in our houses or neighborhoods as fast as we can.

Few points to remember about fire prevention. These are the things that could one day save your life, health or property.

1.    1. Buy the Powder Fire Extinguisher and keep it handy a home

2.    2. Fire extinguishers to buy: 4-6 kg at home, 2 kg in the car. They should always be ABC type, so you can stop the fire of flammable solids, liquids, gases and the energized electrical equipment.

3.    3. NEVER pour water on grease fire. When you do that, this happens:

Cover it with a lid or a big thick fabric to cut off the Oxygen supply and then call the firefighters. 

4.    4. Always use the fire extinguisher – even from the distance, even when the fire is big. The powder from fire extinguisher will contain the fire in one place and will not allow it to spread. Remember to remove the cotter pin before using it. If it won’t go, turn it around to cut off the plastic it’s contained with.

5.    5. Fire goes wild in a regular size room in less than a minute. As soon as you see or feel the fire – run for your life and grab your fire extinguisher to save what you can.

6.    6. You will always escape from fire – your body is designed to avoid the heat at all costs (including your own death). You will most likely disregard the smoke, which is deadly to you. As soon as the fire starts always use a piece of fabric to cover your face. Better wet than dry, but both will do well.

A Firefighter’s tip: when you don’t have many clothes on you, take off your shoe and use your sock to cover your mouth and nose, then put the shoe back on your foot. The smell might not be pleasant, but it will prevent you from fainting and dying surrounded by smoke.

And, last but not least – always remember, who saves the day when the fire spreads around you. The firefighters put their own lives at risks to save the ones in need. You can consider finding the firefighters foundations in your location and donating some money or time to their cause. I’ve already found mine: http://www.fundacjapsp.pl/

Here's also a cool video showing how to escape the burning house. Hope it will never be useful to you, but as the wise man said: better safe than sorry.

Stay safe!